[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: the great empiredots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 266
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 468
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1998


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe great empiredots

    we soup our bones
    into a cold roux;
    curry leaves, chiles,
    turmeric, cumin, nutmeg
    & cinnamon..
    where you begin
    & we end
    we do not know.
    we can close our eyes
    & taste you even now.

    harnessed to a mirror
    out of nowhere,
    out of somewhere
    other than what we've known,
    i've made temples,
    for the purpose of worshiping,
    out of sand.
    the sea can take them away,
    one by one,
    while i watch
    on some infinite flat beach
    inside my head.

    & their scent
    catches us again,
    we can almost place it,
    almost place us amongst them;
    paprika, white peppercorn,
    fennel, caraway
    & star anise..
    was that coriander?

    i remember the scene,
    vivid greens splashed beneath
    that impossible orange chinese sunrise.
    the people poured
    out of the forest
    from thatched huts,
    caves, lean-tos
    & hammocks,
    from the trees themselves,
    the brush & the ditches.
    they came from everywhere,
    hungry not for food
    but for our knowledge,
    for our spices.
    "was there any word
    from the great empire?
    let us taste it..."

    but we moved on
    & learned that our dreams
    could become ghosts
    within those feverish landscapes.
    the mountains to the west
    called to us.
    that was where we would find them.
    from our side-packs
    we pulled the flavors
    that would buy our way;
    mustard seeds,
    bay leaves, ginger,
    mace, cardamom..
    take them all,
    we have to find the masters
    beyond the woods.
    & what we've known of madness,
    we'll place upon our tongues
    like hungry beggers
    while we learn...

    Submitted on 2009-01-05 05:10:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "i've made temples,
    for the purpose of worshiping,
    out of sand.
    the sea can take them away,
    one by one,
    while i watch
    on some infinite flat beach
    inside my head."

    see here, you're words are well worth exploring, they stretch me but I hung in there, for the wild adventure I'll probably only appreciate fully later.

    Spices taken, by all those flavors of people emerging from caves and lean-tos, the irony is perfect.

    spices used to buy your way.

    when someone works within symbolism like this and wrings all the flavor from the conceit then for me this is good poetry, it is new eyes and old scenery, in the way that the land was always there.

    enjambment, internal rhyme.

    well worth the read and the time it takes to acknowledge when someone is doing things well.
    | Posted on 2009-04-12 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]