[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: the great empiredots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 266
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 471
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1998


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe great empiredots

    we soup our bones
    into a cold roux;
    curry leaves, chiles,
    turmeric, cumin, nutmeg
    & cinnamon..
    where you begin
    & we end
    we do not know.
    we can close our eyes
    & taste you even now.

    harnessed to a mirror
    out of nowhere,
    out of somewhere
    other than what we've known,
    i've made temples,
    for the purpose of worshiping,
    out of sand.
    the sea can take them away,
    one by one,
    while i watch
    on some infinite flat beach
    inside my head.

    & their scent
    catches us again,
    we can almost place it,
    almost place us amongst them;
    paprika, white peppercorn,
    fennel, caraway
    & star anise..
    was that coriander?

    i remember the scene,
    vivid greens splashed beneath
    that impossible orange chinese sunrise.
    the people poured
    out of the forest
    from thatched huts,
    caves, lean-tos
    & hammocks,
    from the trees themselves,
    the brush & the ditches.
    they came from everywhere,
    hungry not for food
    but for our knowledge,
    for our spices.
    "was there any word
    from the great empire?
    let us taste it..."

    but we moved on
    & learned that our dreams
    could become ghosts
    within those feverish landscapes.
    the mountains to the west
    called to us.
    that was where we would find them.
    from our side-packs
    we pulled the flavors
    that would buy our way;
    mustard seeds,
    bay leaves, ginger,
    mace, cardamom..
    take them all,
    we have to find the masters
    beyond the woods.
    & what we've known of madness,
    we'll place upon our tongues
    like hungry beggers
    while we learn...

    Submitted on 2009-01-05 05:10:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "i've made temples,
    for the purpose of worshiping,
    out of sand.
    the sea can take them away,
    one by one,
    while i watch
    on some infinite flat beach
    inside my head."

    see here, you're words are well worth exploring, they stretch me but I hung in there, for the wild adventure I'll probably only appreciate fully later.

    Spices taken, by all those flavors of people emerging from caves and lean-tos, the irony is perfect.

    spices used to buy your way.

    when someone works within symbolism like this and wrings all the flavor from the conceit then for me this is good poetry, it is new eyes and old scenery, in the way that the land was always there.

    enjambment, internal rhyme.

    well worth the read and the time it takes to acknowledge when someone is doing things well.
    | Posted on 2009-04-12 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Love written by saartha
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Carry written by saartha
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]