Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the indiandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 321
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 513
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2193



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe indiandots
    -------------------------------------------


    the indian:
    she seems so out of place
    tiptoeing down your staircase
    banister.
    it wasn't so long ago
    that her hair,
    once in braids,
    extended from the flat of your bed
    to the floor
    spiraling there
    in an insanity of crazed circles.

    but that was years ago,
    hundreds maybe.
    now she just balances,
    perfectly,
    walking up and down
    until you're sick of her.
    she is always in the way
    & the constant creaking
    keeps you from sleeping.
    how long has it been
    since shes spoken
    one warm word?
    or one cold word
    for that matter.
    she's just on repeat..
    here she comes again.

    "will you stop now?"
    you plead, but she continues,
    eyes intent on nothing really.
    she has nothing better to do
    than to provide for you this torture.
    when you touch your hand
    to the hem of her skirt,
    when you move
    to shove her from her perch,
    your hand, once again,
    passes right through her.
    she is not red,
    like they say,
    but rather golden.
    her cheeks are high,
    her teeth shine with a white
    that's heavy on the eyes
    compared to her skin.
    & she never stops smiling.

    what is she waiting for?
    is it the moon?
    is it the man that took her away
    when she was only 7
    to that desert cabin
    she dare not remember?
    is it the memory
    of that dead mountain pass
    that filled with snakes
    when the dam was released
    when she was only 13
    as she watched
    as all of her memories
    became an empty lake,
    a place to keep the fish
    that would never feed her people.
    it reminded her of something
    that her grandfather once told her,
    that, "the way of of heaven
    is a vast net
    & that although it's mesh is wide,
    it catches everything."
    her true name is a hundred colours,
    but you will never know that.




    Submitted on 2009-01-05 05:11:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Thank you for this depth.
    The first white scroll that I have been drawn to stop and visit awhile.
    A gentle haunting story that covers alot of life in few words. You sound like you are red in white skin. A memory re-visited, understood and un-vieled.
    | Posted on 2009-01-06 00:00:00 | by RomiKumu | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    169713

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    ME written by jjd
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry