Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: rememberingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 539
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1021



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsrememberingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i'm undone,
    towers of morning,
    birds of thunderfold
    cut me out..
    make hands of my memory
    & release them.
    i speak
    & my lips move like sails,
    like soft mountains
    plush with vintage grass,
    with the moss of always underneath.

    when i touch my fingers
    where yours should be
    i find silence,
    lost air
    where the heart lives,
    sliced open like a fruit,
    pomegranate blood
    beating upon my palm
    where your cheek once rested,
    where as a child
    the sand passed through;
    my hour-glass hand,
    my perfumed skin exploring flowers.

    before i laughed
    i moved into everything
    the way that the moon does.
    i try to breathe you in,
    let the miracle of smiling
    remind me of your mouth,
    the sound of your voice
    when morning comes,
    the brightness in your eyes
    when you know that i love you...




    Submitted on 2009-01-05 05:11:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I have a few days off coming up and will make a point of coming back here and reading your stuff. I've read a few and while I admit I don't always follow you the whole way through I find myself wishing I could. That's a good thing.

    DB

    | Posted on 2009-02-22 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      i must be in a very nostalgic mood and all this remembering can be a very bitter sweet voyage of rediscovery. it is odd that although we try to forget and move on, we continue to choose to remember moments in our lives that cause us so much pain.

    i very much like your images and the way you have not wasted words and that it is written maturely with the absence of melodrama yet the emotions expressed are convincing and make an immediate connection.

    there are a couple of specific phrases that i particularly felt a great affinity towards...

    where you describe how you 'try to breathe your lover in' ,

    and earlier there is the mention of pomegranates .. ...

    i am glad i found this.
    i shall be back !
    | Posted on 2009-02-21 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    169714

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Cover written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Records I written by Raphael

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry