[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Unreachable Loverdots

    Author: Aangskate
    ASL Info:    18/male
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 133/117/44
    Words: 39
    Class/Type: Haiku/Love
    Total Views: 975
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 313

       A haiku I wrote about what tugs at my heart.
    The syllables are 5-7-5 in each stanza, or at leats should be. If there wrong, please tell me

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUnreachable Loverdots

    Short, careful words hurt.
    Restrained, unloving- I'm sorry.
    No chance to tell you.

    Side glances exchanged.
    Love grows forever inside.
    It will last- will it?

    Beautiful in-out.
    Can they see? Let's hope their blind.
    Always, I promise.

    Submitted on 2009-01-05 17:56:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Not a bad poem It is really short sweet and to the point ...kinda got lost on the 5th line though wasnt sure where this was going maybe it is just me but I really do like this poem added it to my favorite...

    | Posted on 2009-06-03 00:00:00 | by totojane03 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's ok but it's not really a haiku. A haiku is composed of only 3 lines not more. The haiku was the opening stanza of a form of Japanese poetry. But only the first stanza, the haiku, was written like that. If you feel like expanding it you should look into how the other stanzas were written, I cannot give you exact numbers right now...
    | Posted on 2009-01-06 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]