[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: plastic!dots

    Author: awastedsky
    ASL Info:    22/f/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 116/151/98
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 886
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 994


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    "please be not plastic."

    he was looking into my eyes
    i thought when the fuck did old english become relevant
    i thought maybe he has a point
    i thought about my pride

    and what the fuck else should i do i asked him.

    he stroked his hand down my cheek
    around my ear
    along my hair
    and tugged!

    i don't think i screamed


    a statement, not an exclamation, you know?

    and my eyes filled with water like in a motion picture
    and now i was the one begging.

    knees buckled under pressure
    pencils dropped in favor of pens
    kisses blocked by the art form that is lipstick
    my world is plastic because i grew up
    i think?
    and there ain't nothin' that can be done about it.

    i'm sorry.

    Submitted on 2009-01-06 20:23:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    This really intrigues me and I really want to know what it's actually about!

    My interpretation is that it's about a couple and the woman is becoming more fascinated in the material world and the man is like "oh noes!" But the woman has grown up and has decided on this and that's that. So sorry if I'm totally wrong about this.

    My only critique-y bit would just be the small 'i' and the small 'e' in English, but maybe that was just for effect.

    Other than that, I find this an interesting piece, thanks!
    | Posted on 2010-12-21 00:00:00 | by EshyFishy | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]