Itís hard to make plans for my Valentine
but you know me, Iíll come up with something.
The retailers had better not count on me
to make their February registers ring.
My Valentine is not a lover of chocolate
and a bouquet of roses just die too quick.
Iím going to consult the Karma Sutra
to see if I can find a new toe curling trick.
Back when it was written they were a sexy lot
with imaginations that knew no bounds.
My Valentine is the rather excitable sort
letís see if we can find some new guttural sounds.
Valentineís Day is supposed to be about love
and itís other worldly form of phantasm.
This year my gift is going to be something tangible
like a mind blowing, off the hook, seismic orgasm.