Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Drowning Slowlydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 23/161/138
    Words: 227
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 525
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1380



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDrowning Slowlydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Watch the dust in the dawn's light settle on the damp ground around
    Focus on the small things, the reason is not important
    The water rises, silent and steady, clouding what was once the ground
    All your memories force through your head in an instant
    By noon you could wade or swim through if only you weren't bound

    You asphyxiate on the orb above, it's your only sense of time
    By now it's the only object visible anyway
    The waves echo monotonously through your mind
    Their ripples now judging gently at your waste

    You scream for help all you may but no one else is there
    You struggle and squirm and twist and shake
    You can't seem to break free and time's an angry glare
    Your shadow is engulfed in this lonely lake

    You turn and see the dust again as the sun prepares for slumber
    You accept your fate and bid it farewell
    You taste your demise and know come sunrise you'll be well under
    For this lake's soon your grave and hell

    There's no air left to grasp or much light left to see
    The water blurs your vision now
    A race to set, the sun or you, who will the victor be?
    It's too close to call somehow

    In your last moment all you can think of is her




    Submitted on 2009-01-08 06:02:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    169845

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    One day older, One year wiser. written by Rhythmal
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Agitations written by MyPeriodical
    Tired Vine written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
    Survive ed - right back at the beginning written by MyPeriodical
    Gone written by MyPeriodical
    Behest written by Daniel Barlow
    Sanctimony written by MyPeriodical
    Remember written by MyPeriodical
    Rose colored glasses written by taintedsmiles
    Challenge - Msg to a Mountain Lynx written by Daniel Barlow
    MY VERY OWN DEATH written by Ethan Brody
    Rezar por la naturaleza written by MyPeriodical
    Silly Rulers. written by MyPeriodical
    Their fine denial written by MyPeriodical
    HeroĆ­na written by MyPeriodical
    I am a sorry son. Part two written by MyPeriodical
    In God's Name written by poetotoe
    Canalizar written by MyPeriodical
    Expectations written by taintedsmiles
    I am a sorry son. written by MyPeriodical
    Blues written by TheStillSilence
    Meditations one written by MyPeriodical
    potpourri written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Quoth The Skies and its limits written by MyPeriodical
    Mei written by Chelebel
    untitled written by MyPeriodical

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry