The lines and veins on my hands. by borderlinetears

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Submission Name: The lines and veins on my hands. dots

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Author:	borderlinetears
ASL Info:	21/F/KY
Elite Ratio:	4.93 - 1803/1566/138
Words:	66

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	173
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	370

Description:
I wrote something again! Yah!

The lines and veins on my hands. dots

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I notice three faint creases on my forehead. I forget
where I hide things – poems, pens, chapstick. I skip
from topic to topic, task to task. My body feigns
tiredness to my mind. I am thrilled with things –
bed sheets, towels, ceiling fans. The lines and veins
on my hands remind me of my mother
and her mother, too.

Submitted on 2009-01-08 06:54:50 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  I love this poem. I call these "snapshot" poems. Instead of this sprawling, preachy, empy thing you took a picture of what could be seen as mundane and made it flower. It takes out of your hand and becomes how you feel. The hand is only a starting point that makes your work bound upward, as if off a diving board.

The language is plain and elegant. It soft a down pillows. It is loving without being trite. After a few readings it gets deeper and deeper and deeper.

It's good. It's talent. Seriously.
| Posted on 2009-03-27 00:00:00 | by Hollander | [ Reply to This ]
  You seem to be quite skilled and writing short, powerful poetry

You should try writing haiku's i think youd be good at that

.Antoinette
| Posted on 2009-02-10 00:00:00 | by freak_like_me | [ Reply to This ]
  I once was told that you can tell a lot about a person just by studying the lines on their faces. If you have wrinkles on your forehead, it might be from thinking too much, there may be frown lines or smile lines, etc.

I like how your hands remind you of your mother's and her mother's. One can assume that if you have children one day they too will see the same in their hands. I like the poem ends, but really doesn't.

~Musing
| Posted on 2009-01-27 00:00:00 | by MusingMinstrel | [ Reply to This ]
  I was not expecting to like this. But I did. The wandering, seemingly nonsensical jump from topic to topic that all gets wrapped up in these veins, this skin. The indelible, undeniable connection of blood and age. Very thought-provoking.
| Posted on 2009-01-09 00:00:00 | by saartha | [ Reply to This ]
  Are the veins that remind you of your mother, and her mother, marked by scars? The skipping from a mental speed you never knew?

You forget where things are.... then notice different things like they are all new. Is something.... changing you for a few hours?

Lady Rose
| Posted on 2009-01-08 00:00:00 | by Texan_Poet | [ Reply to This ]
  I notice three faint creases on my forehead. I forget
where I hide things – poems, pens, chapstick. I skip
from topic to topic, task to task. My body feigns
tiredness to my mind. I am thrilled with things –
bed sheets, towels, ceiling fans. The lines and veins
on my hands remind me of my mother
and her mother, too.

Very simple, easy to read, to accept, to attune to. There's nothing disturbing in the everyday routine - on the contratrary, it brings you a sense of 'inner thrill', and the fact that it's perpetual ('my mother, and her mother too') calls for security and safety.

| Posted on 2009-01-08 00:00:00 | by expiring_touch | [ Reply to This ]
  i really like the idea of this, perhaps because i can completely relate. i forget everything (i mean everything). kinda funny actually, my friends just laugh at me.
i skip too, all the time. (sometimes i even skip down the road).

this line here -

The lines and veins
on my hands remind me of my mother
and her mother, too.

funny, i just wrote something the other day along the lines of this (not hands persay), but the idea of being like my mother, and my mother's mother, etc...

the older i get, the more i am aware that i carry traits and characteristics of these women before me.

nice little piece.
| Posted on 2009-01-08 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

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