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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Memories of youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1095
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 896



    Description:
       First poem I write in about a year and a half. Picking up the pen has just been so hard... Anyways, here goes. Comments as always welcomed and returned.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMemories of youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Days go by,
    and memories still haunt me,
    Weeks go by,
    living in the past sadly,
    So why, oh why,
    stay living so lonely,
    Knowing that you,
    live happily without me.

    Life without you,
    I live like a zombie,
    remembering everyday we spent,
    all the times you said "hold me,
    but now it's all different,
    no calls, no hellos,
    no "baby I love you's",
    no passion all night long,
    I swear to God,
    So hard to let you go,
    trying to live,
    while the feeling is still killing me slow.

    So months go by,
    and memories still haunt me,
    So seasons come and go,
    and still your shadow finds me,
    So why, oh why,
    can't I get away for once,
    and why, oh why
    can't I be at peace for once.




    Submitted on 2009-01-09 23:24:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      "Life without you, I live like a zombie"
    Very good, I enjoyed it greatly. also the part where "your shadow still finds me," it puts great imaging into the readers mind, I don't think I can critique this, nothing to fix, very good job with this type of subject, most can't grasp this emotion as well as you did, thank-you for the excellent read.


    -eggshells-
    | Posted on 2009-01-11 00:00:00 | by eggshells | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this very much. it was very smooth and just made me think about a lot of things. talk to me sometime...you should know who this is.

    keep up the writing. glad to know you still use the site.
    | Posted on 2009-01-11 00:00:00 | by lil_gh0st_girl | [ Reply to This ]
      this moved me so much i stated to cry. it was very nice and cute, i just had to add it to my favs. u did a wonderful job. keep up the good work.

    tayla aka sickofhurting u
    | Posted on 2009-01-09 00:00:00 | by SickOfHurting U | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    5. Which parts?
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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    169907

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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