[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Holy Strutdots

    Author: eggshells
    ASL Info:    23/M/WA
    Elite Ratio:    3.25 - 31/82/75
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 966
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 654


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHoly Strutdots

    I watch these three shadows of mine
    As they dance with the flicker of light.
    So fragile.
    They seem to laugh and mimic my existence
    Pouring off of me as I walk this road.
    So dark.
    One light seems to glimmer alone
    Stabbing through the black as a knife.
    So bright.
    I stare at this light above me
    A halo, a burden weighing me down.
    So heavy.
    So meaningless.
    And yet you wear your god like a crown
    Sitting on your throne of faith.
    Discarding all others of their beliefs
    Knowing you walk a true path.

    Submitted on 2009-01-11 19:44:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well this reminds me of growing up catholic...and how we were taught by the nuns to feel sorry for our friends who were methodist or protestant or lutheran...because they had no chance to get to heaven...wrong faith!

    how arrogant?

    good piece, with lots of truth.

    | Posted on 2012-04-17 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Another stepping stone effort. Most poets wind up novelists or journalists. This poem exhibits a fascination with words, but its meaning doesn't separate it from the medium of elite skills.

    | Posted on 2009-01-12 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it was pretty good, it reminded me a bit of a dark being though when you said something about shadows. But still pretty good. ^_^
    | Posted on 2009-01-12 00:00:00 | by Demoncat | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed the poem, especially the ending. Ignorance is bliss is one of my favorite quotes.

    I have to point out though that you broke the 2 full line, 1 two word line pattern at the: So heavy so meaningless part.

    Otherwise, well done
    | Posted on 2009-01-12 00:00:00 | by Amethystadept | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh religious beliefs and what they make people do. Close their minds to all the ideas of others and judge them just because they don't share the same mentality, the same god, because they don't go to the same church. It is awesome how you put so many images into this. At first a single person with three paths to choose from, then a person try to choose a path finding out that the life he chose was not the one that truly interested him, and finally confronting those who pressured him into the choice. Oh what true bliss is to be ignorant. Very good write and I hope to read more from you.

    | Posted on 2009-01-11 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]