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    dots Submission Name: Greater than the two sumsdots

    Author: in shadow
    ASL Info:    22/F/ nightmares
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 581/277/103
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 593
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 675


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGreater than the two sumsdots

    My parents decided to multiply
    They were imaginary numbers
    Unknown factors
    X and Y
    Mixed with other variables
    Factored in the odds
    Had me
    A bizarre prime
    I was raised
    Things and people
    Added and subtracted from my life
    Taught never to be divisible
    Taught never to settle for the mean
    Taught to count exclusively on one
    Trained to leave home
    To see the world
    To do great things
    My parents want only for me to be the whole
    Greater than the sum
    Not a mistake

    Submitted on 2009-01-12 00:50:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is good also. I like some parts and some images. I don't like the form though. You need to have better discipline concerning the overall shape of the poem. Check this out, it's a poem of mine called mathematics2: http://www.eliteskills.com/z/40452 Just so you see how important form can be to a poem. Anyway you got something going here. I'll be keeping an eye on you.
    | Posted on 2009-01-20 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      HisNameIsNoNore took the thoughts I had and spit them out into a fine comment
    HM-n-n-n-n-n-n, a chip from the old block huh!
    I see you have responsible and loving parents who see that their failure to triumph in all has a blossom of hope in you to have a future in which all three of you can frolic. You made each line awesomely vivid as if creation were opening itself in revelation.
    | Posted on 2009-01-14 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting, I did like the flow of this poem. It had a sort of clockwork like rhythm, It seemed to play on the mind one line at a time, tick and tock, slowly it drained itself down to the point that the person is greater than that of what is expected of you, that you will ascend above it all. Through the guidence of that steady hand, you will be greater than yourself.

    I just liked the flow a lot, I think it was well crafted and a solid piece of good poetry.

    Oh and I will push you down a flight of stairs.

    :Cyber Bullying:


    Sinister Cyanide
    Big Nasty

    | Posted on 2009-01-13 00:00:00 | by HisNameIsNoMore | [ Reply to This ]

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