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    dots Submission Name: A Tattoo of Starsdots

    Author: col13x
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 119/300/559
    Words: 239
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 416
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1653


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    dotsA Tattoo of Starsdots

    A Tattoo of Stars

    My shadow from the door
    Of the bar room night
    Cold as the pavement
    In neon light
    Silhouettes of a smoke man
    Blows clouds through the dark

    And Im thinking
    Of someone elses wishing

    Turns the night to a tattoo of stars
    Winking in the softness
    Of shadowling palms
    Swaying to an old song
    With the memories of a juke box
    I turn my collar to the cold

    Friday night is lingering
    Another place is calling
    Vodka and karaoke singers
    In the heat of Mediterranean summers
    All left and gone
    The streets sing on their own

    And Im thinking
    Of someone elses wishing

    Echoed back my footsteps
    And the dogs are barking
    Wandering down windy alleys
    The sea a glinting full moon on the rise
    Drops its silver for the haunting
    Of a night of tattooed stars

    And Im thinking
    Of someone elses eyes

    Hands delve deep to the warming pockets
    But the brace of breathing air
    Helps to steady the smile
    Shes somewhere in the wind there
    I can almost feel her cheek
    Pressed against the straying breeze

    Friday night is lingering latent in its heat
    I never new how being alone
    Could taste so sweet
    And somewhere she is sleeping
    With her arms around me
    And shes dreaming

    Shes dreaming
    Of someone elses wishing

    Submitted on 2009-01-13 22:36:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was written very well. I loved the end. Written perfection.
    Keep up the great work and I'll keep reading

    | Posted on 2009-01-16 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]

    i like of instead of just focusing on your own thoughts , you bring in several other parties. what would like be like if we all just thought of ourselves? your considerateness shows that you must be observant.... being observant will always help you in writing and of course i encourage both. just imagine ... you will sooner or later some to a point where you figurative language is absolute fire! of course you use some here... they are decent. i highly appreciate the words that only rhyme by syllable (lingering, singer) when you do that i keepps our minds focused., there was alot un certaintey wheter you where to rhyme or not it seem though... i personally lean toward rhymes myself. Hope to see more from u.

    | Posted on 2009-01-14 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]

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