Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Tattoo of Starsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: col13x
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 119/300/559
    Words: 239
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 427
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1653



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Tattoo of Starsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A Tattoo of Stars

    My shadow from the door
    Of the bar room night
    Cold as the pavement
    In neon light
    Silhouettes of a smoke man
    Blows clouds through the dark

    And I’m thinking
    Of someone else’s wishing

    Turns the night to a tattoo of stars
    Winking in the softness
    Of shadowling palms
    Swaying to an old song
    With the memories of a juke box
    I turn my collar to the cold

    Friday night is lingering
    Another place is calling
    Vodka and karaoke singers
    In the heat of Mediterranean summers
    All left and gone
    The streets sing on their own

    And I’m thinking
    Of someone else’s wishing

    Echoed back my footsteps
    And the dogs are barking
    Wandering down windy alleys
    The sea a glinting full moon on the rise
    Drops its silver for the haunting
    Of a night of tattooed stars

    And I’m thinking
    Of someone else’s eyes

    Hands delve deep to the warming pockets
    But the brace of breathing air
    Helps to steady the smile
    She’s somewhere in the wind there
    I can almost feel her cheek
    Pressed against the straying breeze

    Friday night is lingering latent in its heat
    I never new how being alone
    Could taste so sweet
    And somewhere she is sleeping
    With her arms around me
    And she’s dreaming

    She’s dreaming
    Of someone else’s wishing












    Submitted on 2009-01-13 22:36:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was written very well. I loved the end. Written perfection.
    Keep up the great work and I'll keep reading

    »Haely«
    | Posted on 2009-01-16 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting....


    i like of instead of just focusing on your own thoughts , you bring in several other parties. what would like be like if we all just thought of ourselves? your considerateness shows that you must be observant.... being observant will always help you in writing and of course i encourage both. just imagine ... you will sooner or later some to a point where you figurative language is absolute fire! of course you use some here... they are decent. i highly appreciate the words that only rhyme by syllable (lingering, singer) when you do that i keepps our minds focused., there was alot un certaintey wheter you where to rhyme or not it seem though... i personally lean toward rhymes myself. Hope to see more from u.

    AETLP/TC
    | Posted on 2009-01-14 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    170030

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Dream written by closetpoet
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Love written by saartha
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Carry written by saartha
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry