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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Whoever said Eve was Cursed?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AlmostEloquent
    ASL Info:    20/female/USA
    Elite Ratio:    3.86 - 46/70/37
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 752
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1085



    Description:
       An imitation of George Ella Lyon's poem for class...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhoever said Eve was Cursed?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am from lenses,
    from milky film and dark rooms.
    I am from the sand under blue-green sea.
    (Irritating, a pearl
    forming on my tongue)
    I am from the willow tree,
    the sprigs of mint
    whose leaves left a scent
    I remember as my own.

    Iím from moon pies and ink pens,
    from Audrey and Katherine.
    Iím from the south-mouths
    and the bless-her-hearts,
    from you mess it, you clean it up.
    Iím from His enduring love
    even for middle school girls
    and the blame I hold.

    Iím from cross-roads and the Battery ,
    old houses and even older ghosts.
    From the finger my father sacrificed
    to the treadmill,
    to the harrowing political defeat of Mike.
    In a locked away room, in a box
    sits the remains of pictures, scribbles
    lost loves and hopes
    tucked away from the heart.
    I am far from the girl who held these,
    tasting the all knowing sweetness,
    fruit fall from the branches of life.





    Submitted on 2009-01-14 03:31:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      there is an indescribable beauty here that you describe with such finesse. i really love the mood this poem gives me; the intonation, the imagery, the life which breathes from this is inspiring.

    audrey and katherine hepburn, right? that caught me completely randomly but i enjoyed the associations. they symbolise enduring class to me, eve's in their own right, i think.

    i guess... the overall feelings i got from this was joy and innocence, both things which i crave desperately but will never have. we want what we cannot have, right?

    truly a masterclass poem.
    you should submit this somewhere.
    | Posted on 2009-01-16 00:00:00 | by meoww | [ Reply to This ]
      I love your work. I keep glancing at them, sort of shyly in a way, I'm afraid of being taken off guard, or swept away by it. I know I will be, but I'd rather delay that for a while. Have hold of myself for a little longer. You can tell that you appreciate where you come from and the love you have going down every line and path that came together to form who you are. I like the title, too, because you can appreciate your feminine-ness, too, haha. I love poetry, and I like oton. I never heard anyone give thanks to Eve for biting the apple, but it's an interesting thought now, isn't it? If you condemn her, somehow you're not giving thanks for being alive. Hmm, well now I'm going to be thinking quite a lot on this. And I don't even consider myself a Christian, but I respect religion. What you have here is great though, and it's nice to see the love and appreciation you have for your background. Nice.
    Be well,
    ~Azura*
    | Posted on 2009-01-14 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
      This was cleverly written........
    Almost like you took a risk on the delivery,
    and yet it worked.
    The listing was like shopping at a flea market.
    Depending on what you really wanted to buy, what's old, what's new and what's out.
    Not forgetting who's said you were perfect,
    or expect people around your life to believe that you are a certain way.

    Although this is not my style of writing i enjoyed it, the imagery was refreshing.

    Good Write!!

    T.REDD
    | Posted on 2009-01-14 00:00:00 | by T.Redd | [ Reply to This ]
      How eloquently you have said your geneology. Eve wasn't cursed. Her act of disobedience passed death on to us. But thanks to God that His great love forgives us when we come to Him in repentance. May your mom taste forever of that sweetness of Jesus.
    | Posted on 2009-01-14 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]


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    170034

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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