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unquestioned haze

Author: silent_death12
Elite Ratio:    7.94 - 1739 /805 /135
Words: 153
Class/Type: Poetry /Sorry
Total Views: 1270
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1034


to be fair, this is the first complete thing I've written in FAR too no need to completely bash it, right? :P

it's not about me, just felt the inspiration for it from somewhere else.

unquestioned haze

she screams for all the bloodlust,
she'd never seen, but felt
and wept for all the silences
she couldn't bare herself.
bleeding recklessly-
her altrustic thoughts,
for innocence and apathy;
just never got along.

Counting the seconds,
but hours drag by,
born with perfect wings,
still she never learned to fly.
tears outline all the memories;
the sketching of endless pain,
she felt not only for herself
but everyone (in vain?).

The stars keep exploding,
world keeps spinning too,
nothing's ever right for her,
or me, or them or you.
and all the endless questioning,
( answers begging for more...)
the lust and pain insatiable,
but no one knows what they're for.
she lived and died in silence,
her message left untold-
she lived and died in a silence that
the world should have stopped and known.

Submitted on 2009-01-15 05:34:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Damn girl, Perhaps I'm being less than modest but i can sense some certain influence. In any event, it braught a tear to my eye, literally. Maybe its just cause I'm [censored]ed, but this was so damned beautiful, in a tormented way. It was like you were channeling, someone the world lost, that it never took the time to know, though had it, it would've been more beautiful. What else i love is that you answer that which is daunting, but leave open so that we can't forget, we must remember it, to keep serching for those unfinished parts.
| Posted on 2009-05-06 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
  This is actually a great write!
...morbid, that is what I usually write about(see my piece titled Corrupted Lullaby), but a great write.

I think there is a lot to this piece, deeper than just words. I love that you are talking about a very real problem.... but that you show that taking your life isn't really the best leave so many unanswered don't give anyone the chance to try to help you....and in the end, no one really knows your story.

I really don't know what I want to say about this piece.... I guess just that it was good....
| Posted on 2009-01-15 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]

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