[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: unquestioned hazedots

    Author: silent_death12
    Elite Ratio:    7.94 - 1739/805/135
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 688
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1034

       to be fair, this is the first complete thing I've written in FAR too long...so no need to completely bash it, right? :P

    it's not about me, just felt the inspiration for it from somewhere else.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsunquestioned hazedots

    she screams for all the bloodlust,
    she'd never seen, but felt
    and wept for all the silences
    she couldn't bare herself.
    bleeding recklessly-
    her altrustic thoughts,
    for innocence and apathy;
    just never got along.

    Counting the seconds,
    but hours drag by,
    born with perfect wings,
    still she never learned to fly.
    tears outline all the memories;
    the sketching of endless pain,
    she felt not only for herself
    but everyone (in vain?).

    The stars keep exploding,
    world keeps spinning too,
    nothing's ever right for her,
    or me, or them or you.
    and all the endless questioning,
    ( answers begging for more...)
    the lust and pain insatiable,
    but no one knows what they're for.
    she lived and died in silence,
    her message left untold-
    she lived and died in a silence that
    the world should have stopped and known.

    Submitted on 2009-01-15 05:34:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Damn girl, Perhaps I'm being less than modest but i can sense some certain influence. In any event, it braught a tear to my eye, literally. Maybe its just cause I'm [censored]ed, but this was so damned beautiful, in a tormented way. It was like you were channeling, someone the world lost, that it never took the time to know, though had it, it would've been more beautiful. What else i love is that you answer that which is daunting, but leave open so that we can't forget, we must remember it, to keep serching for those unfinished parts.
    | Posted on 2009-05-06 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      This is actually a great write!
    ...morbid, that is what I usually write about(see my piece titled Corrupted Lullaby), but a great write.

    I think there is a lot to this piece, deeper than just words. I love that you are talking about a very real problem.... but that you show that taking your life isn't really the best way...you leave so many unanswered questions...you don't give anyone the chance to try to help you....and in the end, no one really knows your story.

    I really don't know what I want to say about this piece.... I guess just that it was good....
    | Posted on 2009-01-15 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    Cover written by saartha
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Love written by saartha
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Records I written by Raphael
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by ShyOne




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]