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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Join the club, Everyone has a broken heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: inkpen
    ASL Info:    19
    Elite Ratio:    4.12 - 391/199/61
    Words: 320
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 801
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 969



    Description:
       Yeah I just felt like writing something...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJoin the club, Everyone has a broken heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Join the Club,
    Membership is free, pain doesn't pay
    It's time to start a new day
    Come, come inside, no need to hide
    Because everyones got a broken heart
    We know what it feels like to be ripped apart
    and
    We've cried your tears
    Sighed that sigh
    Felt your fears
    Said goodbye

    We've woken up just to cry
    Tried our best to stifle that sigh
    Thought those words that wouldn't die
    Missed the first hello and the last goodbye
    ...
    So sign your name
    And play the game
    Its all about the pain
    And we're going insane




    Submitted on 2009-01-17 04:09:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the theme and how you set it up. I would have said everyone has instead of everyones got, but it's probably a dialect thing. The end is to open ended for me, I want something more final. Overall this is a great piece that everyone can relate to.
    | Posted on 2009-01-17 00:00:00 | by dblick16 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm. I like this. It's simple and too the point. It's not superflous or however you spell that. You took a theme everyone could relate to and put it into terms that the common reader can understand. Like me. And, that's is refreshing.


    I think the last line is like cool. But, it needs a little more finality--at least in my opinion. :) Something that just says WALAH! You know? I don't. Anyway. It's good. :)
    | Posted on 2009-01-17 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]


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