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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hush Babydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Maskannai
    ASL Info:    28/Female/Utah
    Elite Ratio:    4.94 - 214/184/78
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 497
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 771



    Description:
       A sweet little lullaby I have been working on for a few weeks for my little baby girl..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHush Babydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hush
    baby hush
    don't you cry

    Hush
    baby hush
    now close your eyes

    Hush
    baby hush
    not a tear you'll shed

    Hush
    baby hush
    now it's time for bed

    There's things to do
    and games to play
    so hush little baby
    there'll be more days

    You'll miss no fun
    when the work is done
    so hush little baby
    and suck your thumb

    Hush
    baby hush
    don't you cry

    Hush
    baby hush
    now close your eyes

    Hush
    baby hush
    not a tear you'll shed

    Hush
    baby hush
    now let's go to bed




    Submitted on 2009-01-18 18:00:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      concidering this is a lullaby.to be sung to a child......i think there is no problem to it kind of copying the hush lil baby.thing. i agree with it being beautiful for what it is. nothing struck me as incredibly original, but being a lullaby again, maybe that shouldn't be the point. children are awesome, good to see some love.

    peace
    | Posted on 2009-01-19 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm really tempted to give you a great review mainly because I loved that lullaby when I was small and even up to this day, anything that reminds me of those memories, I still love. So I will say that you singing that lullaby to your baby girl is such a blessing.

    From a lyrical point of view, and this is the part I really wanted to leave out but seeing that you want an unbiased review, I guess I shouldn't fear hearing back from you. So here goes.

    Though I love the lyrics, I think that if you want to write your own version to this lyrics, maybe it should have a different twist or a different sense of originality. I don't feel like it's coming from you, I feel like you're copying or trying to be similar to the lyrics.

    I thought that was the main downfall. What I did like was the fact that you had a structure. It felt like you thought this through and how you were going to write it and I always appreciate pieces that have some kind of structure.

    It's not mindblowing but it's sweet and you had inspiration to write it. So I loved it for what it is.

    Take care....

    Irina
    | Posted on 2009-01-19 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    170196

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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