[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Hush Babydots

    Author: Maskannai
    ASL Info:    28/Female/Utah
    Elite Ratio:    4.94 - 214/184/78
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 497
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 771

       A sweet little lullaby I have been working on for a few weeks for my little baby girl..

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHush Babydots

    baby hush
    don't you cry

    baby hush
    now close your eyes

    baby hush
    not a tear you'll shed

    baby hush
    now it's time for bed

    There's things to do
    and games to play
    so hush little baby
    there'll be more days

    You'll miss no fun
    when the work is done
    so hush little baby
    and suck your thumb

    baby hush
    don't you cry

    baby hush
    now close your eyes

    baby hush
    not a tear you'll shed

    baby hush
    now let's go to bed

    Submitted on 2009-01-18 18:00:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      concidering this is a lullaby.to be sung to a child......i think there is no problem to it kind of copying the hush lil baby.thing. i agree with it being beautiful for what it is. nothing struck me as incredibly original, but being a lullaby again, maybe that shouldn't be the point. children are awesome, good to see some love.

    | Posted on 2009-01-19 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm really tempted to give you a great review mainly because I loved that lullaby when I was small and even up to this day, anything that reminds me of those memories, I still love. So I will say that you singing that lullaby to your baby girl is such a blessing.

    From a lyrical point of view, and this is the part I really wanted to leave out but seeing that you want an unbiased review, I guess I shouldn't fear hearing back from you. So here goes.

    Though I love the lyrics, I think that if you want to write your own version to this lyrics, maybe it should have a different twist or a different sense of originality. I don't feel like it's coming from you, I feel like you're copying or trying to be similar to the lyrics.

    I thought that was the main downfall. What I did like was the fact that you had a structure. It felt like you thought this through and how you were going to write it and I always appreciate pieces that have some kind of structure.

    It's not mindblowing but it's sweet and you had inspiration to write it. So I loved it for what it is.

    Take care....

    | Posted on 2009-01-19 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cover written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Love written by saartha
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Etiquette written by saartha
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Shi written by ShyOne




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]