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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Feetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 230/385/134
    Words: 39
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 834
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 331



    Description:
       The prompt for this poem was essentially to respond to another poet's work. I chose Miroslav Holub and his poem 'Wings', which ironically is also a response poem. It can be viewed at this site: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/archive/poem.html?id=181466


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    dotsFeetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Cartographers, yes
    and water

    But above all
    we have
    hands,
    hands that sometimes
    do nothing at all

    but gather
    crazy cursive
    explosions

    This
    takes away
    our wings

    gives us
    a better kind
    of freedom.




    Submitted on 2009-01-19 06:36:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i can't even pick out what i love best about this poem. it's eloquent through and through. i loved everd word.
    | Posted on 2009-04-16 00:00:00 | by blackbird | [ Reply to This ]
      "but gather
    crazy cursive
    explosions" --> That's pretty much what I do when I write. Cursive explosions. That's an awesome phrase right there.

    "A better kind of freedom" --> Now, is this referring to freedom of speech? Artistic freedom? Somehow I just can't quite put my finger on what kind of freedom it is. Sorry, I'm somewhat out of it today. If this is something simple, then forgive my ignorance. If not, help me to embrace this poem in understanding.

    Not much else to say. Good write, I enjoyed it. Keep it up! ^_^
    | Posted on 2009-03-10 00:00:00 | by AsiaticFox | [ Reply to This ]
      (i apologize in advance for writing an essay in response to 3 minimalist poems gillian's way better about this than i am)


    so i read "wings," which has that stanza (a whole poem?) by william carlos williams... i think the progression is interesting. wcw's bit--microscopic mapping of something that is by no means big like the world, the universe. then holub--
    We have
    a map of the universe
    for microbes,
    we have
    a map of a microbe
    for the universe.

    wow! hahaha... i have nothing to say but a big cheesy "wow!"--with exclamation point, mind you
    things so big and small. infinite, they're so big and small. then it's mundane:
    But above all
    we have
    the ability
    to sort peas,
    to cup water in our hands,
    to seek
    the right screw
    under the sofa
    for hours

    these things are almost instinctual, they're so mundane. or maybe they're mundane because they're instinctual--to find the right, perfect pea; to create a bowl to drink from; to fix something. things done with hands and a capacity for cognition. holub says that gives us wings...

    but here comes you:

    Cartographers, yes
    and water

    But above all
    we have
    hands,
    hands that sometimes
    do nothing at all

    but gather
    crazy cursive
    explosions

    This
    takes away
    our wings

    gives us
    a better kind
    of freedom.


    (sorry--it helps me to think stuff out if i can see it)

    ... i've got a lot in my head right now over this... i'm not quite sure how to express it.

    you take minimalism to a level i've barely seen before. academia loves epics. this is foreign and delicious, and so puzzling... like... i have no idea what to think because it was so quick and accurate. you fecking sharpshooter, you
    i barely even knew you had a gun before i bled out.

    ...a better kind of freedom.

    better. not larger, not wider... better. wings let you fly, but you can't really do things with them besides that. birds have beaks and claws--we'd probably have to have those things too, in lieu of hands. what good are feet? especially if you've got wings. and to know what to do with a beak and claws, we'd have to have bird brains. and by then, we're just birds.
    hands can make things, map things. hands can write--crazy cursive explosions... i love this.
    aaaha and we're back (at least i am) to, "what good is poetry?" it's something i've been thinking over far too much lately. and i don't think thinking will give me an answer. ha. that's the only answer thinking has given me

    to create, surely, is worth more than to fly. and that, i do agree, is a better freedom.
    | Posted on 2009-02-02 00:00:00 | by etheror | [ Reply to This ]
      What I love about your writes is that the reader can draw what they need to draw, or want to draw from your words. I am sure I am always off the chart, but no matter.

    There is something about feet when they touch the ground, or water. I like that this gives a feeling of freedom in not being perfect in the creative process.

    It is in the act of communication, or at least trying to, that makes the difference. I mean how can anyone map out anything, unless they explore?
    | Posted on 2009-01-19 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


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