[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Feetdots

    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 230/389/136
    Words: 39
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 868
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 331

       The prompt for this poem was essentially to respond to another poet's work. I chose Miroslav Holub and his poem 'Wings', which ironically is also a response poem. It can be viewed at this site: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/archive/poem.html?id=181466

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Cartographers, yes
    and water

    But above all
    we have
    hands that sometimes
    do nothing at all

    but gather
    crazy cursive

    takes away
    our wings

    gives us
    a better kind
    of freedom.

    Submitted on 2009-01-19 06:36:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i can't even pick out what i love best about this poem. it's eloquent through and through. i loved everd word.
    | Posted on 2009-04-16 00:00:00 | by blackbird | [ Reply to This ]
      "but gather
    crazy cursive
    explosions" --> That's pretty much what I do when I write. Cursive explosions. That's an awesome phrase right there.

    "A better kind of freedom" --> Now, is this referring to freedom of speech? Artistic freedom? Somehow I just can't quite put my finger on what kind of freedom it is. Sorry, I'm somewhat out of it today. If this is something simple, then forgive my ignorance. If not, help me to embrace this poem in understanding.

    Not much else to say. Good write, I enjoyed it. Keep it up! ^_^
    | Posted on 2009-03-10 00:00:00 | by AsiaticFox | [ Reply to This ]
      (i apologize in advance for writing an essay in response to 3 minimalist poems gillian's way better about this than i am)

    so i read "wings," which has that stanza (a whole poem?) by william carlos williams... i think the progression is interesting. wcw's bit--microscopic mapping of something that is by no means big like the world, the universe. then holub--
    We have
    a map of the universe
    for microbes,
    we have
    a map of a microbe
    for the universe.

    wow! hahaha... i have nothing to say but a big cheesy "wow!"--with exclamation point, mind you
    things so big and small. infinite, they're so big and small. then it's mundane:
    But above all
    we have
    the ability
    to sort peas,
    to cup water in our hands,
    to seek
    the right screw
    under the sofa
    for hours

    these things are almost instinctual, they're so mundane. or maybe they're mundane because they're instinctual--to find the right, perfect pea; to create a bowl to drink from; to fix something. things done with hands and a capacity for cognition. holub says that gives us wings...

    but here comes you:

    Cartographers, yes
    and water

    But above all
    we have
    hands that sometimes
    do nothing at all

    but gather
    crazy cursive

    takes away
    our wings

    gives us
    a better kind
    of freedom.

    (sorry--it helps me to think stuff out if i can see it)

    ... i've got a lot in my head right now over this... i'm not quite sure how to express it.

    you take minimalism to a level i've barely seen before. academia loves epics. this is foreign and delicious, and so puzzling... like... i have no idea what to think because it was so quick and accurate. you fecking sharpshooter, you
    i barely even knew you had a gun before i bled out.

    ...a better kind of freedom.

    better. not larger, not wider... better. wings let you fly, but you can't really do things with them besides that. birds have beaks and claws--we'd probably have to have those things too, in lieu of hands. what good are feet? especially if you've got wings. and to know what to do with a beak and claws, we'd have to have bird brains. and by then, we're just birds.
    hands can make things, map things. hands can write--crazy cursive explosions... i love this.
    aaaha and we're back (at least i am) to, "what good is poetry?" it's something i've been thinking over far too much lately. and i don't think thinking will give me an answer. ha. that's the only answer thinking has given me

    to create, surely, is worth more than to fly. and that, i do agree, is a better freedom.
    | Posted on 2009-02-02 00:00:00 | by etheror | [ Reply to This ]
      What I love about your writes is that the reader can draw what they need to draw, or want to draw from your words. I am sure I am always off the chart, but no matter.

    There is something about feet when they touch the ground, or water. I like that this gives a feeling of freedom in not being perfect in the creative process.

    It is in the act of communication, or at least trying to, that makes the difference. I mean how can anyone map out anything, unless they explore?
    | Posted on 2009-01-19 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    This written by Chelebel
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Genesis written by saartha
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    ME written by jjd
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]