Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: here is my religiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: chemberdan
    ASL Info:    26, female, Arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 68/122/43
    Words: 322
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 605
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2074



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshere is my religiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    and now on this anniversary of all of this destruction
    i want to smite you completely.
    nothing in me wants to keep you any other way
    than to hurt you with my deserving need.

    I don't really like myself anymore
    since I've succumbed to your devious nature.

    however i cannot forget myself in all of this

    I still care about you
    enough to hurt you.

    You're a joke
    you made a show of me.

    I used to talk nothing of you except...
    how great you were.
    Since you've shown yourself
    I cannot express it simply.

    I've been growing up since I met you
    figuring out everyone's needs.
    I know this hurts....It was meant to.

    Here are your remains you left with me.
    They sent shock waves everywhere.

    No one wants to be here anymore
    not even the girls
    that seemed so important.
    The ones that you emptied yourself into while being alone.
    They've gone on while I've been here sweeping up their remains.

    You used to invest a lot of yourself in people
    your fake self.
    The one you created one night while you were mad at the world.
    I could of help you out of this
    but you instead chose to indulge in something
    that wasn't helpful.

    I still don't think you know what love is.
    What it is to give up everything you believe in or want for one person.
    I know and its not self-gratifying.
    Its cold and lonely.

    You cannot count on anyone else but the one you stood up for.
    You've betrayed everyone else
    for one person.
    And that person can't help you up.

    You still can't guess what I'm writing about you.
    I don't think you'd known all the chaos you were getting into.
    I'm gonna leave any minute
    you'll never know i was here.




    Submitted on 2009-01-21 11:11:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      :-O wow ... I love it!!! When you write I can feel your angist I can feel the rage from within. Weather these are writings fictional or non I am unaware of but you have me fooled. However if i could suggest one thing it would be to not make it so long... how you'd go about this I have the slightest clue I wouldn't want to see anything taken away from this post... maybe just a suggest for future posts :-)

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2010-05-22 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    170300

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry