Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Memorydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: longlosthoper
    Elite Ratio:    2.42 - 6/6/5
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 684
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 984



    Description:
       For english coursework we have to write a short story, this is the suicide note my character leaves.
    Comments please


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMemorydots
    -------------------------------------------


    There's a dream I can't remember
    But it's torturing my soul
    I'm searching for the memory
    Hoping it will make me whole
    Did I forget because it hurt too much
    For me who was never strong
    Do I block it for my sanity
    Or because I know that I did wrong
    They will never understand the fear
    I felt when I saw you shaking
    And crying that you needed me
    For the decision you were making
    I now remember your face that day
    Afraid but embracing your power
    I helped you take your final bow
    I counted down that one last hour
    They cried out that it was an awful shame
    For you to take your life so young
    They'd never guess that it was me
    That pulled the trigger of the gun
    So now your soul is free and flying
    While mine is trapped and alone
    You asked me before to take your life
    And now it's time to take my own




    Submitted on 2009-01-21 21:02:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      
    That was beautiful! It broke my heart. Keep it up =]

    ~Phantom~
    | Posted on 2009-01-28 00:00:00 | by PhantomRose | [ Reply to This ]
      This was beautifully sad. I loved it. I haven't read anything like this in a long while. It's refreashing. I love your style.
    Keep up the great work and I'll keep reading

    »Haely«
    | Posted on 2009-01-21 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    170314

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry