Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Something's Gotta Givedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jessa
    ASL Info:    29/f/pa
    Elite Ratio:    3.73 - 221/209/73
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 700
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 685



    Description:
       Is there anything REAL left in this world?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSomething's Gotta Givedots
    -------------------------------------------


    My knuckles bleed, as the walls beg for more
    The pain is just as bad as it was before
    Painted from the ground, all the way to the ceiling
    Emotions flow red, and run out of feeling

    Medicated to live
    For death is at stake
    Something's gotta give
    Something's gotta break

    Cement & cinder blocks, asphalt & stone
    Not an inch of peace to wonder alone
    Kicking & spitting, punching & shoving
    Only the junkies know of good loving

    Choking to live
    For life tastes fake
    Something's gotta give
    Something's gotta break





    Submitted on 2009-01-22 02:46:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You make me feel the pain. Whatever it is, real and fake, I know something's gotta give, something's gotta break. You have imagery that nails me to the wall. you've got real good stuff, Jessa.
    | Posted on 2009-01-23 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      This is well written and well structured, and describes desperation perfectly! It describes a difficult mood or situation to write about, and you have done it very well!

    Nice work Jessa!
    | Posted on 2009-01-22 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Very Emotionaly Driven.

    Its very reminicent of a poem I did a few years back,

    Did you mean to say wonder? I read it and the word Wander came to mind before wonder did, However both fit.

    It's a great peice, Good Job
    ~Carrie
    | Posted on 2009-01-22 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    170325

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry