[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A likely ideadots

    Author: Robert Neville
    ASL Info:    16/m/London
    Elite Ratio:    0.48 - 10/192/232
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 877
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1006


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA likely ideadots

    The bombs drop down
    And the food in the canteens
    Finally gain some life
    The gas surrounds
    The people clench their
    Fists and die
    Well it was about time
    Big Ben shows the wrong
    Number, get in line
    Marching soldiers
    With earrings in their noses
    Shoot their guns and destroy
    Parliament, well whets the point
    Children cry as the buildings
    Turn to rubble
    They see their school entwined
    And suddenly they didn’t care
    Until their lungs jumped from
    Inside their body
    And they slowly died
    Everybody climbs in a car
    And drives out
    Just looking to survive
    The eye comes tumbling towards
    Earth, was that worth the money?
    The Thames turns inwards
    And waves engulf the rubble
    Nothing remains except
    Wet, wave soaked rubble
    And we must question
    London, would anybody miss it
    If it wasn’t here?

    Submitted on 2009-01-22 15:40:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]