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    dots Submission Name: Torn Apartdots

    Author: Vermalin
    Elite Ratio:    4.25 - 15/29/21
    Words: 147
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1064
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1061


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTorn Apartdots

    Oh gentle winds 'neath moonlit skies,
    Do not you hear his heartfelt cries?

    Below the branches, here about,
    Do not you sense his fear and doubt?
    Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams,
    Do not you hear his woeful screams?

    Upon the meadows, touched with dew,
    Do not you see his hearts a'skew?
    Beneath the thousand twinkling stars,
    Do not you feel his jagged scars?

    Seek not his mournful heart kind breeze,
    For you'll not find it 'mongst these trees.

    It's scattered 'cross the moonlit skies,
    Accompanied by heartfelt sighs.
    It's drifting o're the gentle rain,
    A symbol of his silent pain.

    It's buried 'neath the meadow fair,
    Conjoined with all the sorrow there.
    It's lost among the stars this night,
    Too far to ease his quiet fright.

    No gentle winds, seek not his heart,
    For simply ... it has torn apart.

    Submitted on 2009-01-24 08:08:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I favorited this, it's got a surreal use of wording; it paints a picture I can both admire and simply feel abhorrent about. By no means do I dislike this poem, I do indeed sense some of the feelings trying to be expressed in this.

    There was a serene, calm sense in this...then there was a type of sorrow, some sort of a dark edge.
    | Posted on 2010-03-05 00:00:00 | by xAngeliquex | [ Reply to This ]
      Such familiarity with this piece. I love the rhythm, and the way the words convey your feeling. Or is it his rather?

    None the less, I love this piece. I would favor it, but I don't want to lose my favored-virginity. Haha. I lie, I will favor it. I look forward to see more works from you Emily. >.>
    | Posted on 2010-02-01 00:00:00 | by Dark Dann | [ Reply to This ]
      beautiful, i love the rhythm, and the way the words flow, like vellemittere says, i like the nature scene and how it lays out the feeling.
    beautiful work, i look forward to seeing ur future writing
    | Posted on 2009-01-26 00:00:00 | by UnbrokenHeart | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is amaizing. I like how you used a dark night and peices of nature to paint a picture. It really brings out the feeling
    | Posted on 2009-01-25 00:00:00 | by VelleMittere | [ Reply to This ]

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