Description: My first try at a real piece of descriptive writing, not really sure which category it belongs to, so just filed under poetry. A little punchuation help and also structural, plus and spelling error correction would be greatly appriciated.
Basically me and my fiancee have just split up after 3 years, and I am truely gutted and hurt worse than I ever have before. But, I am always unlucky in love so now I think my time has come to forget about the dream of finding my partner for life as this was the girl I wanted.
The darkened cloud of loneliness decends upon me like a storm that strikes without warning,
this fog that now cosumes my very being masks the serrated blades of bitterness that seek to reap my soul,
With the darkened cloud now thickening, the light of hope and aspirations are becoming less clear for eyes to focus on.
Acknowlegdment that there's no escaping these enveloping shadows of emminent realisation now becoming clearer than the stars in a clear summer sky.
So I am left in a quandry with infinite twists turns and sidestreets, only one of these logistical nightmares can lead me to the true path of redemption,
Yearning for that ever elusive help, turns out to be as productive as distinstingushing one raindrop from another in a cyclonic tropical storm.
Another weary tired soul now joins the masses that experienced the exact fate and vengence that brought them here.
With each passing moment in time the darkness fades slightly as another plunges in, bringing what hope they have left,
only to suffer the same demorilising agony of seeing the light making it's hasty retreat back to the land of ever decreasing smiling souls.
You have actually mastered, on your first try, on the part of being more descriptive, you bring forth imagery that seems clouded in shadow depths but all the same you remain on the surface to describe what is taking place. It brings to me a place of gray that is shrouded in mists.
Submission Name: Misery
