Non-Biodegradable

Author: PiperH ASL Info:    17, F, Georgia Elite Ratio:    3.89 - 253 /299 /172 Words: 46

Class/Type: Misc /Misc Total Views: 818 Average Vote:    4.0000 Bytes: 273

Description:

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Non-Biodegradable

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A paper laying on the ground covered in dirt and left un-found years go by, and still it lasts written words of a sorrowful past not wind, nor rain, nor the sun itself can ever uncover the forgotten self

Submitted on 2009-01-26 01:00:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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"so day after day, it lives in the earth filled with self doubt, but never self worth" You have to cut these lines out,theyre absolutely terrible,that last senetence is just a turgid horrid anti-climax to what could have otherwise been a nifty piece of writing. They take away from it so much I bet you dont even know. Leave it at this: "A paper laying on the ground covered in dirt and left un-found years go by, and still it lasts written words of a sorrowful past not wind, nor rain, nor the sun itself can ever uncover the forgotten self" There you have a stronger finish which you yourself wrote,it eouldnt be perfect,but Id call it a decent stab towards something great. But you probably wont cut those lines out will you? I wish you would... -Craig

| Posted on 2009-04-24 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]

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