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    dots Submission Name: Nautilusdots

    Author: LRRolins
    ASL Info:    17/A/A world you dont own
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 142/140/84
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 646
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 865

       Just read it.
    I don't feel impressed to explain myself.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    At night, my mind is fraught with sweet sinful nothings.
    I push them away.
    I refuse to eat.
    In the days turmult, I cry,
    wishing for the sky blue cottage filled with a pitter-patter of little feet
    and a chemise of warmth on my shoulders.
    I smile,
    basking in the summer's glow.
    Here I knowing that I am at peace.
    That I am safe.
    Screams, anger, lies slash what has been so preciously created.
    Always shattering,proving what I see to not be reality.
    Looking aside,I sigh knowing I must endure the hate.
    But time isn't a kind wait.
    So I crawl back into my shell,
    hit my head up against the bricks.
    There's no warm chemise,sky blue cottages, or even kids for that matter,
    but it's still a comfort to relenquish and get away.

    Submitted on 2009-01-27 00:02:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like your mood of peace you set here. I had to look up the word chemise and all I can find is that it is a dress. so i get kinda confused when I read through and you write that.

    I especially like the part

    "So I crawl back into my shell,
    hit my head up against the bricks."

    I use metaphors like this sometimes to express a dark mood. I would say to add more words to this poem but I'm pretty sure your content and by the last few lines it sounds finalized.

    This poem makes me feel at peace for a moment but then drops into a kind of fear. That's just the feeling I get when I read it. over all, its not to bad.

    keep writing!

    | Posted on 2009-01-27 00:00:00 | by siroez | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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