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Crimson Betrayal


Author: night_angel
ASL Info:    22/F/MI
Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 188 /242 /100
Words: 102
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 1371
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 607



Description:




Crimson Betrayal



I know no one person can have my heart
When its already cracked and falling apart
Nor could one catch me as I fall to pieces
Broken, I lie abandoned on the dirty floor

I can not stop this flood of painful feeling
Nor can any one person administer healing
When I am too fearful to let someone in
Hurting, I suffer alone in personal silence

I hear my soul tear, as its pulled from me
Lost in a the eternal void of dark simplicity
As my body shudders with its final breath
Dieing, I bleed torrents of crimson betrayal




Submitted on 2009-01-28 00:59:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I agree with Nate. This is indeed dark. I do like how the first 2 lines in every stanza have almost the same rhyming pattern. Then it dwindles down in the last two sentences. And you of course know, that things do become greater and easier in time. Anyways, good job, and I agree; it would be difficult to improve this. And I would look forward to reading something a lil expanded on this. Good job : D

Annie
| Posted on 2009-01-30 00:00:00 | by unnamedtear | [ Reply to This ]
  Dark and angsty, nice. I dont see any issues, although i would like to see this expanded if at all possible.

Keep up the good work

~Nate~
| Posted on 2009-01-28 00:00:00 | by TwilightAngel | [ Reply to This ]


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