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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Crimson Betrayaldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: night_angel
    ASL Info:    20/F/MI
    Elite Ratio:    3.88 - 180/230/90
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 244
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 607



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCrimson Betrayaldots
    -------------------------------------------


    I know no one person can have my heart
    When its already cracked and falling apart
    Nor could one catch me as I fall to pieces
    Broken, I lie abandoned on the dirty floor

    I can not stop this flood of painful feeling
    Nor can any one person administer healing
    When I am too fearful to let someone in
    Hurting, I suffer alone in personal silence

    I hear my soul tear, as its pulled from me
    Lost in a the eternal void of dark simplicity
    As my body shudders with its final breath
    Dieing, I bleed torrents of crimson betrayal




    Submitted on 2009-01-28 00:59:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with Nate. This is indeed dark. I do like how the first 2 lines in every stanza have almost the same rhyming pattern. Then it dwindles down in the last two sentences. And you of course know, that things do become greater and easier in time. Anyways, good job, and I agree; it would be difficult to improve this. And I would look forward to reading something a lil expanded on this. Good job : D

    Annie
    | Posted on 2009-01-30 00:00:00 | by unnamedtear | [ Reply to This ]
      Dark and angsty, nice. I dont see any issues, although i would like to see this expanded if at all possible.

    Keep up the good work

    ~Nate~
    | Posted on 2009-01-28 00:00:00 | by TwilightAngel | [ Reply to This ]



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