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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: MEdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LighterFluid
    ASL Info:    18/F/Pluto
    Elite Ratio:    2.99 - 11/9/5
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 580
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 425



    Description:
       I wrote this for a friends homework project


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMEdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My father
    Soothes the distressed
    with patience and tranquility

    My mother
    Sparks joy which ignites laughter
    with affection and delight

    My brothers
    Incline to their ambitions
    with contentment and stability

    He walks on water
    She glides through air
    They sit in chaos

    What lies in them
    Resides in me....




    Submitted on 2009-01-29 06:40:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey hey i liked this alot. its so wicked.

    i like the lines

    He walks on water
    She glides through air
    They sit in chaos


    stay gold

    grim
    | Posted on 2009-02-02 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
      Its pretty good actually,I like the quiet ending a lot,

    "He walks on water
    She glides through air
    They sit in chaos"

    That parts a little clunky to me though,seems kind of thrown in for legnth.

    Anyway its a good effort,but check this out,you might like it:

    http://www.eliteskills.com/z/168397

    You two have something in common maybe?

    See ya:-)

    -Craig
    | Posted on 2009-01-29 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    170611

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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