Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Spectrum of Your Heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SDodson
    ASL Info:    18/f/fl
    Elite Ratio:    4.65 - 35/22/21
    Words: 196
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 659
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1456



    Description:
       Second draft, I like it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSpectrum of Your Heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Put the money in your pocket.
    Front one-
    To be sure
    Pass the baggy
    Crackhead too grabby
    Calls at 4 a.m
    Your business already begins
    Elements of the world
    The way we made it so
    Colors of the rainbow
    Inspires a sickening glow
    Color spectrum
    You can't hide
    Florescent beauty
    Beats the tide
    Darkness retreats
    Deeper and deeper
    The wind is invisible
    Mountains only grow steeper
    White clouds coddle you on
    Your rainy days
    Blue waters follow you
    Into your purple haze
    Red blood drips
    From an enflammed nose
    Orange bottles a gift
    Better than a lover's rose
    Yellow sun shines
    Golden above
    Hide from the morning
    Show no love
    Green mother of earth be still
    I'm so dizzy I can't swallow the pill
    Color spectrum of your heart
    Contrasting so blatantly
    Contracting like ecstacy

    Absorb it
    Reward it
    Hold it close
    The blackness of your heart
    Absorbing the colors of the world
    Hold on honey
    It'll be ok
    Embrace the pain
    Rinse off in this new kind of rain

    Don't run away honey
    You hold all the colors in you heart
    Lift it up to the light
    Never defeat the dark




    Submitted on 2009-02-01 03:25:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "Color spectrum of your heart
    Contrasting so blatantly
    Contracting like ecstacy" (my favorite stanza.)
    Wow. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get back to this because this is just... I don't know if there is a word for it. Truthful I guess. It's raw and truthful, and doesn't flinch at the darkness of an addict's soul. Better than the original by far. This is one of the best works you've done, in my opinion, and that's saying alot, because your work is more than par. From whatever inspiration you drew this, you turned it into a thing of art.

    Slainte,

    DW
    | Posted on 2009-02-04 00:00:00 | by Shadowstar13 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    170681

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry