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    dots Submission Name: The Sorrowful Loverdots

    Author: Aangskate
    ASL Info:    18/male
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 133/117/44
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 746
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 710

       Another older poem of mine

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Sorrowful Loverdots

    All I can feel inside is this pain
    All I can see is the stains.
    I no longer have any feeling
    Because Im already dying.
    Night no longer turns to dawn,
    Blood is spread on the lawn.
    Darkness hides my frail figure,
    Shades of dusk outline me like a picture.
    My breath is restrained,
    Suffocating in my pain.
    I scream in torment
    Yet I do not lament
    The things Iíve done,
    Because Im no longer alone.
    A hand to grasp,
    Someone who sees me behind this mask.
    As darkness turns to light
    As pain turns to love.
    Yet somehow all I can feel is this pain,
    All I can see is the stains.

    Submitted on 2009-02-02 22:44:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This song actually fit perfectly to the beat and the lyrical styling of the song I was just listening to as I read your poem. The song is "What If" and it is performed by Creed. The way you wrote it just matched perfectly with its rhythm.

    This is a very nice poem of yours. I can tell it is a little older because you have changed your writing style a little since this one. This poem is one of your classics though. It portrays the feelings of loneliness and of being a slave to someone else's actions very well. The imagery of the blood spilling on the lawn was very effective and I think that was really the best part of the poem. Overall I can really picture this as some nightmarish anime clip, and I think you did a very nice job at expressing your feelings in this poem. This is vintage Harriet.
    | Posted on 2009-02-09 00:00:00 | by FlickerofHope | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this. Very interesting and suspence. You can brush up on your discription but beside that I loved it. I know this comment is a little to common but still, its the truth. I have to say this is the first of your poems I have read but I am already impressed. I understand the pain and love (Both) in this poem. What caught my attention was the mask. Thinking about it, it just reminded me of a slave xD Keep up your writings.

    | Posted on 2009-02-03 00:00:00 | by Sunnehbabe | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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