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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In Another Lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 23/160/138
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 684
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1069



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn Another Lifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    In another life we would smile at the other's sight
    We would spend most of our days with each other
    And would think of the other each moment we weren't
    Never desire to have another lover

    In another life we would laugh and cry together
    We would share all of life's little perks
    Things would all fall into place
    So we'd not have to try and make it work

    In another life we would talk for hours
    Never with much to say
    And when one left even for a minute
    I'd call you right away

    In another life we'd have endless romance
    We'd watch the stars and the rising sun
    The whole time us hand in hand
    Our love would never be done

    In another life I wouldn't have these dreams
    They'd all be real and always right
    We'd never leave the other in despair
    We would stand always at their side

    In another life we would be happy...

    In another life.




    Submitted on 2009-02-06 14:54:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ah but when I do feel this way it is simply knowing you don't...

    nicely put btb
    | Posted on 2009-03-01 00:00:00 | by Morsketch | [ Reply to This ]
      I disagree with I_Bleed_Ink. Well, well unless he/she has no imagination. Cause your writing is very vivid. Might look a bit idealistic, yet I believe anyone can relate to it.

    Very simple, yet elegant use of understatements and allusions.

    Two thumbs up.
    | Posted on 2009-02-07 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      "We would most of our" I think you need a verb between 'would' and 'most'.

    "And when one left even for a minute" The 'one' you're refering to here is unclear. When what/who left?

    I like the use of the phrase "In another life." This is certainly a 'what if' type of poem. I guess all I can really suggest is try to clarify a bit more, dig deep and make those images real to the reader. Keep pushing it.
    | Posted on 2009-02-06 00:00:00 | by I_Bleed_Ink | [ Reply to This ]


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