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    dots Submission Name: In a Shelldots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 607
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 718


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn a Shelldots

    footsteps on concrete, marble, limestone and sand
    bare feet on wood
    with the wind coming in
    and the window
    the trees exist
    of a hill

    The walls connected to the floor have all been painted

    The new colors are echoes and instincts of the book you read last life

    It is a bold thing to say

    a hound hides in the bushes at night

    play with him

    He plays with me

    The curve and the arch of the foot
    stand above horizons. all the,
    surrounded by
    the round and orange brightness of your half moon smile

    Submitted on 2009-02-08 00:27:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "It is a bold thing to say"

    this is very bold in execution yet not overly done to me in any way; you strike a blissful balance between imagery, observation, and letting this painting speak for itself.

    "The new colors are echoes and instincts of the book you read last life"

    this is wonderful writing right here. something about this causes me to stop and rethink this phrase over and over again.

    i do wonder if you really need "all the time" in here, especially the way it's broken up? to me, this would read much more succinctly without it, but hey, it's your baby.

    got any more experimental pieces like this?
    it's a refreshing direction you've taken.
    keep going with this.
    | Posted on 2009-02-08 00:00:00 | by meoww | [ Reply to This ]

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