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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Consequencesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Aangskate
    ASL Info:    18/male
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 133/117/44
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Poetry/Gothic
    Total Views: 789
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 485



    Description:
       Something I just started writing. I did it in a style much different then my own, something I find happens often in older works like Dante’s “The Divine Comedy” except I added my own flair.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsConsequencesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Im to the point where,
    Letting go is near
    Impossible.

    If this thread is broken,
    My neck will be
    Ghastly.

    Should accident happen,
    I won’t make it to the
    ‘Morrow.

    Would the blood fall,
    So will my still
    Corpse.

    When the casket of the dead
    Is closed, My lips will utter
    Silence.

    My blood will run cold,
    When I am
    Alone.




    Submitted on 2009-02-09 18:18:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love it. The broken rhythm is just perfect for my mood. It's like barbed wire around the neck. I just posted a poem that has a similar rhythm "Orchid Mantis", yet lacks the beautiful form. Keep writing!
    | Posted on 2009-02-10 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      Very, very morbid. Of course, it helps that I hold a certain fascination for all things morbid and dark in poetry, and this fits the bill.

    I agree that this one is old fashioned, because honestly I kept feeling like I was in the 1700 or 1800's when I was reading it, but that is a good thing. The voice you used in this poem was very unique and it really is different than anything I've ever read by you.

    I'm not sure as to how it will relate to other readers, but I found that it related to me in a rather strange way because it's almost as if I've experienced this emotion before. The emotion I feel is something of a combination of undying love and just overally morbid, gothic darkness. Of course, the last lines refer to being alone and feeling dead, and I have also felt that. Overall this is a very different poem, and I really like it. It is a classic gothic poem.
    | Posted on 2009-02-10 00:00:00 | by FlickerofHope | [ Reply to This ]
      Its really good babe, i like it. Trying other styles is always a good thing, and this one turned out beautiful. Kind of old fashioned, but you sort of like stuff like that dont you? Well done!
    | Posted on 2009-02-09 00:00:00 | by dthforeverpain8 | [ Reply to This ]


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