Beautiful glaze
Traveling
At a somerset magnum pace
I despise all colorful anodynes
Free power
Free power
Fuel injected benzodream
Arch canvas magnificent
Glimmering, shadowy
Constantly tripping
On triangular wheels
Felt molested pressure chest
Burst!
Sunbeam mythology
Riding on
Pressure string
Chest wide open
Octopus ribs
Seen orchid center stalking
Near absolute pressure
Must retreat
Im not a fan of this style, comes off like throwing paint on a canvas randomly, its very hard to avoid pretention.
But on the other hand, I suppose I liked the colours you chose to throw.
I know its not that similiar, but it reminded me of this one:
http://www.eliteskills.com/z/174143
Your words have to be really powerfull so that it doesnt seem like a cop out, I dont think yours were AS strong but the choice was definately interesting.
Hmm. This was an interesting little piece. I liked the way in which you would have these strange little half-ryhmes in it. Its very creative. I think there might be one or two spelling mistakes in there as well...but Im not quite sure if it was just to capture the rarity of it or not..
Very cool! Keep it up!
-Aang
Submission Name: Orchid Mantis
