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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: LIFE33:73000dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: screamALEX
    ASL Info:    19/M/PA
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 40/93/49
    Words: 202
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 703
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1401



    Description:
       This is a re-post with the first stanza changed and some other little minor changes.

    Theme and title was inspired by a commercial I saw on tv, thought it was hilarious how naive and ridiculous it sounded, if you have seen it before this will make more sense, if not... oh well.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLIFE33:73000dots
    -------------------------------------------


    LIFE33:73000

    I don’t see the point in starting,
    if I already know the end.
    What happens to today,
    if tomorrow’s been planned?
    So what’s the purpose of life,
    if death is at hand?

    Cell phones and imagination,
    to calm the minds greatest infatuations.
    Technology and Miss Cleo unite.
    Here to read your palm,
    reveal your life.
    Telepathic minds to fill the holes.
    One word to kill or free your soul;
    Yes or No.

    Two little answers,
    to compliment too many questions.
    Answers derived from falsified evidence,
    but still gobbled up without a conscience.
    Human nature once again prevails,
    mothers would cry if they could see us now.
    If only we could see us now.

    Too much of today,
    is spent pondering tomorrow.
    Too much time lost,
    brooding yesterday’s sorrows.
    Futility’s best attribute: What’s done is done.
    Like a father like the sun,
    what births a new day,
    must give way to night.
    Tragedy paves,
    paves the way for new fights.

    The past slips through careless memories.
    Clairvoyance will be the death of me.
    Futures never to be seen.
    Clairvoyance will be the death of me.
    Clairvoyance will be the death of me.




    Submitted on 2009-02-10 21:37:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      See I wish I could write poems with very well structured and good sounding rhymes... its something I seemed to have difficulty with most time! you know the way sometimes rhyming can be forced and you dont even realise your doing it? and then your poem begins to sound very primitive but not in a good way? if u know wat i mean? never mind that anyway back to your piece... i quite like

    Too much of today,
    is spent pondering tomorrow.
    Too much time lost,
    brooding yesterday’s sorrows.

    Its lines like this i can relate to and i think its very important to at least catch one person with your writing on a personal level. It makes the work quite universal too. But ive spent much of my past year worrying about the things i done and said, and then spending the other times worrying about whats going to happen in the future, and it does me no good in the long run. I think thats a very very important line in the poem, well for me it is anyway. I think human beings punish themselves too much sometimes, obviously not all of us, but in general I think the first thing we need to learn is to forgive ourselves and I think your piece of writing is great in helping in the realisation of this

    Antoinette


    | Posted on 2009-02-11 00:00:00 | by freak_like_me | [ Reply to This ]
      "Clairvoyance will be the death of me."

    I like this line. The rest is less inspired imo.

    Keep writing!
    | Posted on 2009-02-10 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]


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    171009

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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