This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Under The Bed


Author: bkj43
ASL Info:    22/m/va
Elite Ratio:    3.92 - 119 /140 /79
Words: 72
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 886
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 463



Description:


I think it's pretty self explanatory, let me know what you think...


Under The Bed



I know the depths to mine own horror;
The greatest,
If I really think about it,
Would be to never see tomorrow.

I can endure hurt,
I can endure shame,
But I don't think I could endure
Being asked to never witness them again.

This is the truth,
Or so I believe;
For I know how a single short moment
Can make the grave decision
To seek a moment's relieve.




Submitted on 2009-02-13 22:12:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Well having just lost the only woman I can say I really loved, this piece spoke to me in maybe a different way than you intended or maybe exactly as you intended.

After offering all your love, trust and devotion to that one special person they throw it back into your face and it almost feels like they are laughing at you. So you go into your own little world for while and sometimes the pain and unhappiness you feel is so incredibly unbearable you contemplate ending your life. But as you mull the proposition of death you slowly begin to gain a little strength and you slowly start to heal. As you do you know that this time you had a very lucky escape, but that you will never lose the scars and you will never fully recover from this, and if it should ever happen again you probably just won't have the strength left to survive so you make yourself a promise to never let anyone see your deepest feelings again.

Maybe I'm wrong here and you meant something completely different, I have to admit I have a one track mind at the moment, but either way, this piece still spoke me on a personal level and was nicely presented and written.

Danny
| Posted on 2009-02-15 00:00:00 | by corruptedspirit | [ Reply to This ]
  This poem reminds me of killing people and storing them under your bed... like the release of death relieves you so that you may relax and enjoy yourself.
| Posted on 2009-02-14 00:00:00 | by Old | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



171106