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    dots Submission Name: The Interludedots

    Author: realpoet
    Elite Ratio:    6.51 - 904/475/311
    Words: 251
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 855
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1395


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Interludedots

    You'er cheating, you'er cheating on me,
    on me, I saw you there.
    You said you had homework,
    but I saw you there.
    I was in the cinema, alone,
    alone thinking of you
    when he came in hugging you close
    and you two sat three rows in front of me.
    He kissed you three times a minute.
    I got up and left. I know you saw me
    as I stopped by your row then ran out .


    I was not cheating,not cheating on you.
    That was my out-of-town half brother,
    who dropped in while in town.
    He said, "Let's take in a movie,
    like we used to do."
    He was not kissing me, not kissing me.
    He was whispering so as not to disturb.
    Why didn't you come and sit beside me?
    If he were my date, I would have told you so.


    For the sake of my eating your sincerity ,
    how about the soda bar after school ?
    I'd like to meet your half-brother,
    if he has the guts to show up.


    That's fine with me, my love,
    my love with a bit of jealousy.
    Trust me. Trust me,
    I'll tell you when it's over.
    I'll not let you fall out of love with me.
    Want to seal it with a kiss ?

    Submitted on 2009-02-15 04:43:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i was ready to give a very poor review into the first stanza but was pleasently surprised with the twist.

    nice place between lyric and poetry.

    and clever story telling approach between monologues, confusing a tad at first, but clear enough to work.
    | Posted on 2009-02-16 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]

    It's cute. I bet it's got a catchy rhythm. What genre would you classify it as? Sounds like Techno or pop in my head. Just wondering how it was supposed to be.

    I like it. It's original, too. I like how they too parts are kind of talking to each other. It ends happily too. That's nice.

    It sounds sort of choppy in my head. Are there any long notes? Or is it all badumbadum. Sort of thing?

    Nice write.
    | Posted on 2009-02-15 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]

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