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    dots Submission Name: Café dots

    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 778
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 736


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    dots Café dots

    Her neck is long and pale as bleached sea salt,
    Her short hair shows her ears. The look is Fay.
    Those long and lovely legs with ease convey,
    That she is there for more than just her malt.
    So lovely, young and perfect, just one fault,
    Sweet love and lust for tourists on display,
    With love for any, love for all, who pay,
    At noon, or under Heaven’s starry vault.

    Her hair of cinnabar is soft as down,
    Those green eyes teeming with a zest for life,
    She seemingly is worth her weight in gold,
    Her pretty cotton dress is red and brown;
    She takes to her and breeds a world of strife,
    Such bitter tears will flow when she’s grown old.

    Submitted on 2009-02-17 21:30:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      My first thought about this is that the narrator is the observer, not the subject. The subject is discribed a being Fey, but the melancholy at the end of the piece humanizes what otherwise would have been the perfect picture of an Unseelie pixie stalkin her prey.
    Now, all that aside, it has a lovely cadence. I love the way your words transport me into the narrator's world. Magnificent as always.
    | Posted on 2010-11-01 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      This is compelling and beautiful in its sadness. It speaks of beauty and misdirected youth, perhaps out of need and necessity. It somehow expertly captures the mood of a small European Cafe with the center of attraction being the lovely young lady.

    I think you meant Her in the first two lines instead of here?
    | Posted on 2009-02-18 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

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