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    dots Submission Name: Moonlightdots

    Author: Peacejoe
    Elite Ratio:    2.89 - 30/29/23
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 589
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1248

       Kinda a different writing style while I was bored tonight. Tried to make a happier poem, not how I usually write...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    It’s dark now.
    I can not see.
    The world is gone.
    My eyes are weak.
    The dark has stars,
    As night unfurls,
    But nothing stops,
    My cries.

    I have no one.
    No friends, no help.
    I’m falling down,
    Into the ground,
    So as to cry
    Alone, to bleed,
    Too weak, and left alone,
    To fall.

    I can’t look up,
    Only down.
    To think,
    To cry,
    To let my tears fall.
    The night is long.
    The night is dark.
    Leaving me,
    Alone, and lost.

    Looking up,
    With all my strength,
    The moon is there,
    A shining light.
    The only thing,
    That I can see,
    The moon,
    Its light,
    The hope.

    I sit and stare,
    At the light,
    There’s nothing else,
    but the thought,
    of all,
    to lift away,
    and disappear,
    from my eyes,
    from my sight,

    The moonlight comes,
    Surrounding light,
    Its soothing beam,
    Forever change,
    I feel at peace,
    I am alive,
    The light,
    It heals,
    My mind,
    My cries.

    Submitted on 2009-02-18 02:02:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like this piece because it reflects so many parallels to how most people feel on this website. We all feel like this sometimes but there's a distinct link between everyone on here, that we don't "fit in" and feel somewhat out of place and lost. Find peace within yourself is my only advice to you. One I find it I'll let you know how it was successful for myself lol.
    | Posted on 2009-10-02 00:00:00 | by metallichick786 | [ Reply to This ]
      I offer my words only as critique not as a personal attack, so please do not become disheartened. You have a talent for writing and it is good you are exploring that. However, you seem to ramble and use clichéd' metaphors. Read other veteran writers stuff, learn how they convey their emotions without clichés. I hope I can be encouraging with these words and not too negative.

    your friend in Christ
    | Posted on 2009-02-20 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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