Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love's Playwrightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SonOfDamascus
    ASL Info:    18/m/Maine
    Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 27/35/37
    Words: 320
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 530
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2115



    Description:
       My Inspiration.
    is found anew.

    in the flow of two minds.
    meshing. oh so very well.

    To My Muse;
    Thank You.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove's Playwrightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    To say what is on my mind.
    Would be getting ahead of myself.

    But weíve already done that havenít we?

    We think weíve traveled two miles.
    When really Itís ten.

    Time and distance become soft.
    When Iím talking to you.

    What light through yonder message breaks.

    I await each dawn.

    For each one that passes, brings me closer to you.

    I can usually tell.
    What is in someoneís heart.
    And mind.

    But you are the bane of my power.

    Making you that much more.
    Mysterious to my mind.

    Youíve managed to captivate and capture me.
    Like the beast I am.

    I found myself in a primal state.
    Before you came around.

    But you educate me in the ways.
    That I once had forgotten.

    Let old acquaintance be forgot.
    And those who pain us.
    Alongside them.

    I stand here on the cusp of my manhood.
    Being a boy again.

    Back on the playground.
    with my first crush.

    I was lost at square one.
    Where another had abandoned me.

    But I saw you walk by.
    And now I realize how good it is to be back.

    I like being back to this Square.

    I was feeling quite cubed anyways.

    You once called me silly.
    And I realize.
    You make me that way.

    I havenít been here In a long time.

    So forgive my bluntness.
    But I must say.

    That I love what youíre doing.
    To me each and every time.
    You speak a single word.

    A word.
    A verse.

    Your Sentence.
    A sonnet.

    A Paragraph is a play.

    And I am surely immersed.
    In your lovely illusion.

    I hang on every thought.
    That you allow me to see.

    And crave more.

    I am the audience.
    In your loveís play.
    Be my Playwright?




    Submitted on 2009-02-19 03:58:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      nice metaphor here...nice idea of how she is making the speaker feel like a young awkward boy again, who can't remember his lines...
    but the script is never perfect...and the ending is most important...

    if she accepts...there can be revision.
    | Posted on 2011-03-18 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      This was wow! =] I love it.
    | Posted on 2009-12-08 00:00:00 | by Nikki92 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    171283

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Outlaw
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Live In Between written by teika5
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    FamiliarDemons ¬©‚ĄĘ written by kyserin
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry