Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the gentle memory of bluenessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 537
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1197



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe gentle memory of bluenessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    until this world melts again
    i am an island,
    the moths fluttering at my fingertips,
    the cherry
    burning amongst the wet leaves.
    the colours explore me
    while i'm missing
    & i wait for you...



    as i move,
    everything pops
    & swizzles away.
    i remember the ocean
    & it's dark purpose
    moving away from me,
    the scent of its victims
    on the air.



    i touch blood
    as if it's dreaming,
    as if i could love
    despite the seasons,
    the coolness of the winter
    on my lips.
    i break into the air
    with the gentle memory
    of blueness,
    leaf creatures ignore me
    in the night.



    i touched the heart of it all
    to find
    the chrimsom coral
    beneath me
    explaining god.
    along the way
    i've discovered nothing
    but this;
    that in the end
    i'm left to wonder:





    what if,
    despite geometry,
    i'm less for knowing love at all?




    Submitted on 2009-02-21 00:18:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Another thing i like about your work is its sure cadence, nothing ever really feels out of place or forced, and i think you've mentioned that you usually write these pieces of your in a rush.

    it's like you are are there and yet detached, while seemingly at one, or holding some mastery of observation.

    break into the air
    with the gentle memory
    of blueness,
    leaf creatures ignore me
    in the night.

    I very much like these lines:

    'what if,
    despite geometry,
    i'm less for knowing love at all?'

    it just reminds of what a lottery it is, the coming together of two people, the matching of one egg with one of many millions of sperm zaigots or some bloody thing:

    six billion people and half of them are male, 99.9999999 % of them you'll never meet, the one you were meant to? attached at the time, another cycling of the numbers and how is she meant to meet up with you?

    Sometimes I think about it in the way of love/sex being a biological function and we, just organisms inflicted with those very strong feelings as if we are microbes whose purpose is to grow a tail and love is the illusion that stretches us toward it. And when you think about that crazy stuff it makes you question purpose for sure.

    So, this was where your poem lead me, and that is wordy, and good.

    good good.
    | Posted on 2009-12-21 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    171336

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    new moon written by CrypticBard
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    untitled written by Chelebel
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Wavelength written by saartha
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Bond written by saartha
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Push written by JanePlane
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry