[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: heavy with forgetful sleep dots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 215
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 542
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1474


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsheavy with forgetful sleep dots

    tell me everything in mirrors;
    that our enemies,
    laden with much practical jewelery
    all our own,
    that i can step off into the sea air
    on that beach that we found;
    the crab that we rescued once
    & set off into another shoreline.
    let me hear your voice
    ringing like dead frequencies
    in my inmost ear.

    bury me just above the horizon,
    just above the dinosaur clouds,
    just below the broken interiors
    of dreaming.
    lay on my tongue,
    stretch out like hell-fire,
    like the ice that turns to copper
    amongst the streetlights
    of our missing cities.

    if i breathe just long enough
    i might describe the 5th season,
    the unbroken moon
    heavy with forgetful sleep,
    heavy with sickness
    from the motion of its waning beak,
    birthing the ocean
    like another ocean birthed it.
    it takes on female forms
    in empty space where we lose it.

    our minds finish
    what our lips lack in speech
    the evolution of the spirit
    is to fold,
    as the brain does,
    into new versions of the light.
    hold your head up high.
    the next few seconds
    will leave you hanging:
    the plot of the world
    is to diffuse into amber.
    i have these hands,
    i have these eyes
    & i'm waiting...

    Submitted on 2009-02-21 00:19:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I remember this one, I think I read after 'the season of wayward bees'

    the beginning in fantastic, the kind of poetic gibberish you know holds something spectacular.

    the amber in this is rust? life rust/disillusionment

    perhaps too many 'that,' I understand it is used in different and appropriate ways, still trying to break the spell and offer something without only smudging up the paint--

    | Posted on 2009-04-12 00:00:00 | by HuyBenAmon | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The World written by jjd
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Live In Between written by teika5




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]