Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: of sadness in icedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 717
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1255



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsof sadness in icedots
    -------------------------------------------


    i speak light into coolness of romance
    & another falling leaf,
    of sadness in ice
    & its counting of the numbers
    beyond my heart's recognition...
    a little smaller than this
    & the moon is pouring
    again.

    yet,
    the hazards
    of the wayward body persist
    & i am unusual
    amongst bright flowers.
    i celebrate the stubble
    scattered across
    a plow torn field,
    the music
    of knowing that you're all alone.

    the vines confound me
    as they make their way
    through my moods
    as heavy
    as the morning
    & as thick
    as the parts of you
    that turn to broken doves
    when i touch them
    to my lips.

    the sea seems further
    away than she should be
    &, still, i feel her
    whispering past a century's
    last pines,
    lost amongst the needles
    beneath their bark.
    i tongue at oxygen
    to get a better sense
    of her waves.
    i feel the space
    between us
    turn to rust.

    may our bodies
    remember nothing
    when we're gone.





    Submitted on 2009-02-21 01:42:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The image of the narrator/you tonguing the air made me laugh because as I was reading this and becoming reaccustomed with your way, and way with words, I imagined you mixing herbs or taking a mushroom and then just wandering half naked through the countryside reciting your poetry, birds alighting on your shoulders and bees going in and out of your throat and nose. So then that image comes along and it very much reminds me of a bear scenting the air.

    This is quite sad and I like that that particularly feeling comes at you in a few choice waves of surprise.

    I marvel at your imagery and the way you seem in touch with all things living.
    | Posted on 2009-12-08 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      beautifulf poem, hypnotizing and well spaced, great write, I like the way you move the imagery
    | Posted on 2009-03-21 00:00:00 | by gjenkins | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    171348

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry