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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Leaving you for now...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lolavie
    ASL Info:    23/female/Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 70/175/103
    Words: 175
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 773
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1140



    Description:
       I left Tahoe for the first time on Wednesday and ... I honestly didnt want to go. I felt I had established firm and satisfying connections....

    and here I am now in the midwest...
    away from what I learned to know
    away from who I miss the most


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLeaving you for now...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Time's here
    and my memories
    are ready to board the plane.

    Clouds arrive above
    and my sadness
    is masked in the rain.

    My tears
    are translated into happiness
    for your sake so you won't cry.

    My frown
    smiles just for you
    just so you don't have to even try..

    They'll be back
    whenever your eyes close
    They'll appear
    just never lose the hope

    But I turn around
    and I cry for now
    I cry for now

    Don't you cry 'cause these are happy tears
    because our memories WILL return.......



    Time's gone
    and our memories
    are aboard that soaring plane.

    Clouds dissolve above
    and my happiness
    has faded in the rain.

    Your tears
    are translated into happiness
    for my sake and I start to cry.

    But still my frown
    smiles just for you
    just so you don't have to even try...





    Submitted on 2009-02-23 04:01:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I can't offer you much in the way of improvement. A hook and a beat. Otherwise, it is a good write. Sorry that is all I really got for ya'.
    | Posted on 2009-02-24 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    171418

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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