Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: When I flydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: She Is Insane
    Elite Ratio:    3.21 - 40/60/32
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 831
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 950



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen I flydots
    -------------------------------------------


    i
    When I fly, I would not be like Icarus
    I will not strive for the heavens, nor trust
    On the weak wings that my heart created
    My feeble limbs in mid air shall remain,
    For if a sudden fall comes along my way,
    The drop will not be too great or unkind.

    ii
    Eighty-seven eye lashes wavered in somber sleeps
    Inside your head, you counted sheep, while from
    Afar I admire every blemish drawn on your face,
    Like a brush I paint and trace each crease, and
    With this I soar higher toward the sunís fire

    iii
    No longer counting down the days your love
    Will cease but rather naming the times I caught
    The sunís rays and let my wings ablaze, knowing
    Our heartsí fate is this, burning our wings side by side,
    Each moment birthing our phoenix that nurtures
    And matures from the ashes of our ardor.




    Submitted on 2009-02-23 19:08:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      How can you say you don't strive for the heavens, when the ecstatic euphoria of your oblivion nurtures just such a home. Heaven need not be a place for only God, and surely he meant for us to aspire to such heights. Sheer horse feathers, right.

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2013-05-21 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    171436

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry