Corroded Perfection
|
|
Description:
I had been meaning to post this write but I kept procrastinating it because I wanted to find the right moment to do so .... and this is probably not .....
Anyways, the current post reflects an idea that I had in mind for a long time though my thoughts didn't find their way through my hands. They did it in the long run triggered by some events I happened to light upon and watched.
Hope you can give me some insights and possible some interpretations. As usual, I'm interested in hearing different perspectives and approaches to my work.
I will keep on commenting particularly on those who you are kind enough to take a moment to check out my so-called poems.
Cheers,
Ethan
Anyways, the current post reflects an idea that I had in mind for a long time though my thoughts didn't find their way through my hands. They did it in the long run triggered by some events I happened to light upon and watched.
Hope you can give me some insights and possible some interpretations. As usual, I'm interested in hearing different perspectives and approaches to my work.
I will keep on commenting particularly on those who you are kind enough to take a moment to check out my so-called poems.
Cheers,
Ethan
Corroded Perfection
Titanium turned into crystal and crystal into titanium, only the correct occurrence rusts the balance of unrelenting perfection. Epiphanies of oxidation nightmares of impossibility but suddenly a flame flares up unleashing visions hammered with images of corroded metal. At length, the fruit of one's ponderings are luckily produced through a sweaty gun-like racket, the smiles of a golden lady and the worthy words of the wise. |
Submitted on 2009-02-24 04:49:51 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post
Comments
| I liked this, I have to take your word on the science of it but I like the thought that I get of someone working at life and using the grace of a good woman and the experiences of others to try and shape his own imperfect state of perfection. It does take more than a little luck too. There's a nice balance here between depth, the great imagery forged in the second stanza and simplicity of the last stanza. I liked it a lot. DB | Posted on 2009-02-24 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ] | Well, I liked reading this, but have to admit I couldn't make head nor tail of it. | With the first two lines you seem to be talking about something/someone going from strong to weak and then back again. The only way I could really comprehend it was to perhaps view it as a state of emotion. In the next 3 lines, you seem to be suggesting that a certain combination will break the cycle...or something... 2nd stanza - okay, you've lost me now. 3rd stanza - eeerrrmmm... In conclusion I would say that, while I do like the cryptic stuff, this is just way too over-the-top, as it is ridiculously obscure. I would have to disagree with the previous person's comments, as I don't think it is a good write. Sorry, just my opinion, but I do like to be honest with people. Cheers. | Posted on 2009-02-24 00:00:00 | by alexboy | [ Reply to This ] | My biggest beef is that you repeat the first line back words and first and second line. I just don't like it here for some reason. | The rest of the piece was original enough to keep my attention. For some reason I keep getting a picture of a brain with rust spots while I read this. Almost like knowledge is corrosion. The last stanza and its connection to the rest of the piece escape me altogether. It is cool it its own right, I just don't make the connection. Over all I would say this is a better than average write on this site. | Posted on 2009-02-24 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ] | |
171466
Edit/Delete posts
Create Writing
Create Journal