Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Itchy Bum.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jamar2
    ASL Info:    52/male/Ireland
    Elite Ratio:    2.22 - 53/46/75
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 675



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsItchy Bum.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ground floor entrance
    enter lift.

    Three more people
    want thirtieth floor.

    Bum itching badly
    embarrassing blush.

    Third floor up
    tighten bum cheeks.

    Wriggle bum
    removing stuck cloth.

    Tenth floor up
    move to back wall.

    Start to scratch
    groans of relief.

    Twentieth floor up
    heads turn.

    Lift companions stare
    smile back with relief.

    Arrive at destination
    lift doors open.

    Find washroom
    check clothing, wash hands.

    Pheeeew!





    Submitted on 2009-02-24 18:29:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      When you know you can't is when you have to the worst.
    | Posted on 2009-02-24 00:00:00 | by lancerdrag0n | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    171481

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry