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    dots Submission Name: These Peopledots

    Author: sweet_rayne
    ASL Info:    25/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.86 - 493/464/111
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 796
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 952


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThese Peopledots

    I watch these people
    Torn and ashamed
    Battered and broken
    With no will to go on

    I watch these people
    That I hold dear
    I watch these people
    That I am a part of

    I watch these people
    Rising from the pain
    Always helping with
    Nothing left to gain

    I watch these people
    That I hold dear
    I watch these people
    That I am apart of

    I watch these people
    Grow and learn
    The hardships of life
    Could not claim us

    I watch these people
    That I hold dear
    I watch these people
    That I am apart of

    As I watch these people
    Grow I learn to see
    That these people
    Are no different then me

    I watch these people
    That is a part of me
    And face the fact that
    I am the people and the people are me.

    Submitted on 2009-02-27 17:24:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It's true. Everyone likes to think of themselves as unique creatures with unique experiences, but at the center were all pretty much the same. I think that this poem built up nicely to the send off. If I had to make one suggestion would be to maybe (up to you, of course) expand on some of the thoughts that you made. Like the line about people being battered and broken could be expanded into why or from what are they battered and broken from. Just a thought.

    | Posted on 2010-05-19 00:00:00 | by MusingMinstrel | [ Reply to This ]

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