Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Identified


Author: Darth Zeus
ASL Info:    21/F/Vacuum
Elite Ratio:    7.31 - 369 /226 /34
Words: 106
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 1497
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 695



Description:


About people who desperately try to be different. In the end they will be just as different as all the other people who want to be different.


Identified



Pink hair, purple beads,
coloured laces, bags and vests,
rainbowbomb is how you dress -
I wonder what your mother says.

Schools and rules are all a crime,
you smoke, you drink or snort a line,
as long as it won’t make you rhyme,
you dye your hair another time.

Spend so much on standing out,
if you don’t like it you just shout,
do everything you’re not allowed,
you’re in but not part of the crowd.

Jumping, dancing, floating blind,
with people, music of your kind,
hypocrisy is what you’ll find;
You differ all the same.







Submitted on 2009-03-01 16:42:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This poem so accurately describes about 80-90% of all teenagers in high school, and even beyond that I would assume. So many people say they are non-conformist because of the way they dress or the way they talk or because of the things they do, but the only reason they do those things in the first place is because they saw someone else do it. All the people that dye their hair these insane colors are trying to stand out, and they do, but there are other people like them, so they still fit into a category and aren't really different at all.

Basically what your poem is saying to me, and I agree with it totally, is that everyone conforms to something, no matter what they say. Metalheads, goths, emos, preps, skaters, jocks.....you name it. Everyone chooses to conform to some clique in society and that's ok because you really have to in order to live in this crazy world. Good write. The rhyme scheme really helped out the poem. I think the poem itself could have been a little longer, but that's not a really big problem.
| Posted on 2009-03-02 00:00:00 | by FlickerofHope | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



171644