Spring

Author: Sephiroth ASL Info:    22/Male/WA Elite Ratio:    4.07 - 60 /67 /29 Words: 53

Class/Type: Poetry /Love Total Views: 777 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 345

Description:

---

Spring

---

The clouds start to part ways, The light illuminates her grand beauty. Dancing. Singing. Together. Forever. With you I lose track of the days. We lie in the warm grass; Hands joined, our souls run free. Our hearts not willing to give up, We forget the world is fragile like glass.

Submitted on 2009-03-03 09:20:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_< 2: I dunno... 3: meh! 4: Pretty cool 5: Wow!

Comments

My first reaction to this was, "wow, that sounds very Twilight" but that's probably just because my friends are talking about it while sitting next to me :) I like it. Spring's my favourite season. I think it's great how you kept your poem short and to the point, instead of flowering it up with prettiness. To me that means that the love you feel is so absolute, and that you are so confident in it, that you don't need to make it sound perfect for the rest of the world - it already is. Your girlfriend is very lucky Yours, Iffy

| Posted on 2009-03-05 00:00:00 | by Iffy | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest. 2. Try not to give only compliments. 3. How did it make you feel? 4. Why did it make you feel that way? 5. Which parts? 6. What distracted from the piece?

7. What was unclear? 8. What does it remind you of? 9. How could it be improved? 10. What would you have done differently? 11. What was your interpretation of it? 12. Does it feel original?

171689