This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

his eyes

Author: blackdemigod13
Elite Ratio:    1.52 - 56 /60 /41
Words: 35
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 913
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 205


his eyes

His eyes are like a summers day
col at first then hot they'll stay
burning into you for hours
like an acid rain shower
then melting in the heat only darkness will you meet

Submitted on 2009-03-04 14:16:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Made me have to think nice. Write on! Made think of the hot after life place guy. Your use od the hot summer day in comparison was good. Going with the acid rain and melting was very descriptive. Good job!
| Posted on 2009-03-07 00:00:00 | by Kuuipo | [ Reply to This ]
  he got scary eyes. nice description. keep it up.
| Posted on 2009-03-04 00:00:00 | by WD-40 | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?